Today I am grateful for my heart being inside of me

I am so glad I can feel pain, anger, sadness and hurt. It is my heart inside of me that also allows me great depths and heights of love. To be a hollow shell or disconnected from the very core of your being is far too distressing to consider. My heart is where it belongs, in my middle, boiling over with anger today but perhaps that is what it needs to be purged and clean again. I will sit with it, and enjoy my emotional abilities.

Also, smoked tuna in a tin and capers in a jar and tagliatelle in a packet are a good thing after work. So are the herbs on my windowsill and the lemons on my tree.

Invitations to socialise are also most welcome and picking me up off the floor.

Life is laughter

Today, on my return to do a shift at an old workplace, I realised how much I love laughter. My laugh comes from my belly, or somewhere deep behind it. It has been so loud that once I was recognised from the other side of a full speaker stack at an outdoor rock concert. I didn't laugh enough the last few months, which now in hindsight is a very important sign. Now, even in the car with the radio on, at work, with people I have just met, on the phone, watching Ross Noble on the telly... I can laugh again. The fire in my belly is back to full strength. I'm glad that I can share a genuine, full, belly laugh, a deep connection with my fellow human beings, lasting long after the sound has left the air.

Cooking

Today I am grateful for cooking, the love that I have for food and creating with it. I was crying today over many things old and new, but through the tears I forced myself to cook. To get back into doing what I love and be who I am. There is room for improvement but the creativity is there.

Oh yes, and truedreams. I forgot to mention truedreams. The brain knows things, locked away, that are true and releases a kernel at a time in my dreams. Grateful I am one of those.

Pootling around a shopping mall

Gaining a deeper understanding of someone you have known your whole life, but you have not remembered well. Finding the truth between the two.

Resonance

Today, after seeing Cai Guo-Qiang's exhibition 'Falling Back to Earth', I am grateful for art. Art on the grand scale of a powerful visual installation (or three), art in the natural and built environment surrounding us, and art in the very nature of every single human being that some of us are lucky enough retain after childhood drawings and imaginings are suppressed by the weight of the everyday. 

I feel fortunate that the work of such a visionary artist, laden with meaning on a grand and global scale, has so much resonance within me, touching deep within the tiny injuries of my heart. 

Once again I thank the universe for sending me signs that everything is going to be more than okay. Awesome, in fact.

Grateful for everything

Today, as I sit next to one of the most fascinating and multifaceted women I've ever known, I am grateful for everything. The many things that I am capable of doing, having available to me and enjoying to the max. Today was one of the biggest and bestest days I have had in a very long time. Being connected and earthed in my own two feet. Doing blokey, girly and generally fun things (pampered into a sparkly bronze pedicure in thongs; then change to sneakers for an orientation to shotguns and a trap shooting session; change back to newly purchased gold heels for dinner and a fun night at the theatre. Women are so lucky these days. I am so glad I get to have all the fun, of every kind!

Oh yes, and being fortunate to live in a country with fresh and juicy cherries; and an abundance of amazing fresh seafood. So lucky!

David Attenborough

Today, at cruising altitude, I had the seatback iPad to try out. That sentence in itself is amazing, and makes me grateful for human technology and how fortunate I am to be able to fly fly away (both physically and/or televisually) at the drop of a hat or a heart.

As I watched the 60y David Attenborough special, I was amazed by all the beauty of the natural world, which we are able to see and capture thanks to him and his dedicated team, and all the advances in camera technology that have been worked on over the years. To see a pride of lions take down an elephant in the pitch black of night thanks to infrared, a kestrel's wings imperceptibly moving thanks to high speed and a snow leopard family thanks to people who are willing to wait for 8 months or more in the mountains at a time... it is a privilege and an honour to be let in on nature's secrets from the seat of your chair, and I am so so grateful for this world in all its beauty as I make my way through to find my place in it. Thank you for inspiring me to love nature with all the wonderment and inquisitive learning that humans are so lucky to have, and act upon.

Also tonight, I appreciate all the people in this world who truly love and care for me. Friends as thick as blood. Precious, and a high priority in the here and now, whichever coast you may be on. I hope you all know who you are.