Adjectives

Generous

Kind-hearted

Open

Connected

Clever

Smart

Keen

Winning

Gorgeous

Fun

Occasionally batshit (insane)

Restoring balance

Instant coffee

Iron Chef

A strong, kind friend to talk to, even if it's not in person

A stinky, friendly, furry face looking back in concern even if it's a canine person

Sherlock

Reiki

Flatbread

Pho tai

The freedom to plan an escape

Plans for the future

Realising I have done nothing wrong and tentatively taking tiny steps to live life

Was thinking of me

A night at the musical theatre. Rocky Horror done so well.

Realising that my story is not all my fault. Feeling happy to be alive. Feeling proud that you didn't die and that I didn't leave until I knew you wouldn't. Feeling okay with the fact that someone has done me wrong, and that I did no wrong, and that I don't hate.

The stars are watching.

The car window rolled down, letting in the dark night and the breeze into my hair and my brain. A spring in my step, and a zip in my car.

I remember when I was in Year 12, and I wrote a list of "Things To Do" in the back of my diary. I've ticked every one off the list. I told this to a workmate whom I'd just met. He was so excited that he gave me a high five. That's finally sunk in, and I now feel that for myself too.



A black and white dog launching herself at you from the dark, and uncontrollably wagging her tail.

The Panics and recurring themes.

Feeling strong, and good, and fine. Glad to be who I am.

Happy things and memories

Dancing ya guts out to De La Soul at Belvoir under the random sky and occasional trees

Cranes

The light catching an eye just so

The Internet

The love and support of supportive loved ones

The warmth beneath the surface 

Dog whiskers

Happy laughter

There's more but I'm sleepy now, thankfully

My dog just farted

It's half midnight, I am working on my work that I'm supposed to get done in my new 9-5 (8-4) job. Earlier this evening, Lucy did such a big fart that we both had to evacuate the study area. That's a big one if the dog is grossed out by her own fart.

It forced me to stand up, have a break and have a glass of water. I had prune hands from dehydration.

I suppose I should be grateful today for flatulent canines.

Let's make this moment (of gratitude) last

Dancing around the house to Moloko, I suddenly felt very well. I am singing again.

Gratefulness has happened in bursts and moments these last few days:

Sensible colleagues to share bemuddlement and confusion with, most grateful

Dry humour from surgical colleague, hilarity gratitude...
Dry - "What's everyone up to tonight (Vday)?"
Me - "Dunno. Might watch Kung Fu Panda and eat instant noodles."
Dry - "So, high yield then?"
Much laughter.

Learning, learning, learning. Frameworks. Inspiration. Understanding. The keen desire to turn this motivation into momentum.

Retail therapy.

Amazingly open moments with strangers. Shared smiles. Human beings.

Dog's ears half up, tips flipping up and down with each bounce of the trot.

Bamboo pyjamas. So smooth!

A funny thought. Named after the moon. Well, the halo of light around the moon. Moonlight goodvibes, basically. Hence, the epiphany, not to worry, I'm not all dark and nocturnal. In fact,

I'M MADE OF SUNSHINE!

Archival footage and live music. What it means to be me, and us. Best friend time. Pine trees, deck chairs, fairy lights, moths in the cinema projector light.

True talent, and hilariousness. So impressed, and uplifted, with a friend who probably needs the same. Feeling grown up and knowingly childish all at once.

Earnest doorman wants to see my ID. Ha!

Silent disco OMG so much fun have to say it again - sweat, bounce, singalong, smiles, smiles, smiles. Enormous.

Fringe world. Bringing my kind of people out of the fringe and into the light.

Finding more things to explore, like Neil Gaiman's blog. Sigh. Embrace and brace for the impending procrastination power.

Telling the truth.

Trying my best.

Crying at rest.

Knowing ultimately that nothing can break me, nothing can take me down.

I hope I can sleep soon. I think I've earned it. Feeling stronger.



There's more to you
than meets the eye.

Dancing

Silent disco
Bohemian Rhapsody
Jump Around
Rebel Rebel
Loveshack
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun